My 2004

Not being one who normally believes in such things I’m surprised to find myself thinking of making some resolutions for 2004. This is mainly because I think I’ve been a bit aimless and disorganized so far this year. In fact it could easily be argued that I’ve been disorganized for a number of years, or even since my birth (which, I am told, was four days late). I write this now at 4:20 in the morning having just arrived home from (yet another) Saturday night at überhotelstonewall. This is not a time when one is up to thinking about life decisions (or thinking at all for that matter) but I can’t sleep so…Nickmac and I were just talking on the way home about our experiences on the scene and how, much like Simon Crean’s performance as Opposition Leader, they are not meeting expectations – however low these expectations may be. As recently as maybe a month ago I would go out and spend fifty bucks on drinks in a night, enjoy it, go home and look forward to doing it again. However I am finding it an increasingly dissatisfying occupation. Not just in the sense of not getting value for money (which is probably the case) but in a less tangible way like wasting time, wasting energy and usually wasting The Day After. (As I guess is the case for most people, my Days After could be used to define the term ‘write-off’, even more so than the decrepit Holden Kingswood being employed as a de facto atrium in my neighbour’s yard.)That said, tonight was far from being a complete loss. I ran into Luke, who I last saw some months ago nearly drowning in shirtless bears at the Shift. Daniel from the Central Coast was about, as gorgeous and amiable as ever. And Grant came up with a nice line about the irony of the Top Three of Stonewall all being bottoms. (Of which specific Three he speaks I’m not sure but they are undoubtedly among the group of cute boys who are allowed to jump the entry queue and are members of what I call the Stonewall Bourgeoisie.)The salient point remains though that it is about time I started doing less of this sort of stuff and started getting other aspects of my life in order. Specifically, making some decisions about work and uni for this year. I can’t keep deferring making the decision as to whether or not I will be deferring uni. Probably I can also start to cut down my hours at my present workplace now since this will mean I have less money and thus won’t go out as much – and I am just getting sick of the place and don’t really wish to make a career out of it. The people I work with have noticed this, one of them commenting that I have become even more bitter and cynical lately. Thanks. (Amusing turns of events still occur there though. Last Saturday I accompanied one of my workmates on a meandering fifteen minute walk around North Ryde while he had his weekly bout of epilepsy. Also, a customer recently told me how she had to get home quickly because she had just remembered that she was carrying half a pound of marijuana in her handbag.) I should also take more time to do other non-alcohol-related things like going to the gym, which something I haven’t done in months. Maybe I will also have a chance to pay my bills on time (or at all) and tidy my room regularly (or at all) and clean my car more than once a year (or ever). After all, isn’t cleanliness as good as godliness or something? Incidentally David, who doesn’t believe in God, I know for a fact would still agree with the intent (if not the wording) of this notion even though he managed to get himself decidedly unclean tonight as a result of some equally unclean act.On this note, I am lately finding myself being told, in detail, the sexual exploits of a proliferation of individuals (mostly Stonewall Proletariat like myself). Trust me people, my medication-suppressed libido is not remotely interested in the manner in which you choose to express your sexual vitality (or bodily fluids for that matter).